I had been feeling so much love for my twin all day. It was like a light burning inside me and so beautiful, different, unlike anything I'd felt in the past for him and then I had a flash, a moment where I saw him standing on a beach, in an alcove. The beach was being restrained by an old sea wall way out in the distance and he was very far away from me.
At first I intended to say nothing, but to silently send my love as I do everyday, but then I thought this is a vision and I have some control over it and the love I was feeling, it was so pure, not wanting anything, just a joyful, peaceful feel and in the end, I just ran to him and I hugged him and my love burst forth like a tangible force. I felt it and I began to cry as I sat there and tried to hold the vision for as long as I could.
In that vision, as I hugged him, I could tell he was disoriented, and he started to push me away, but I
just held him and let my love flow freely into his soul.
As we stood on the beach hugging, his recognition seemed to grow and finally, he hugged me back and in that instant, him the stone wall holding back the see burst and flooded the beach with life once more.
There were fish and sand dollars, sea stars, seals, dolphins, birds... in just a second it went from a barren wasteland to a lively beach... it was incredible.
In that moment, I knew how deeply I love him, not loved, love.
Even still.
No matter how hard I had tried to release that love, how hard I had tried to control it, shut it away, it was still there, but because of the work I'd done, the healing, the love had grown stronger, not weaker and it was pure. It was beautiful.
As the vision ended I was overcome and I wept and wept. It was a cleansing cry filling me with so much love and joy that in the end, I wrote my twin, no I never heard back, but I wasn't expecting to... I simply needed to tell him I'm sorry.
Sorry for the demands and expectations I brought to our relationship, sorry for withholding my love and for being blinded by my pain and drowning in my anger. Sorry for all the things I was responsible for and releasing all that he'd done to hurt me, because none of it mattered anymore.
I am healed.
I am whole.
I am love.
I promised to always keep my heart open to him and to send him energy if ever he needed it. I was, and still am, in such amazing peace, knowing this entire lifetime is in his hands, and I have absolute peace in that because I have absolute peace within me.
I know I will see my twin again, and I know I can handle it with only love and not lose me, not lose my path, my dreams, my life.
I know I will go on to love again, because it is part of his gift to me in this lifetime. My twin taught me more than he could ever know and I will take all of that with me as I turn a page in the book that is my life and open myself up to whatever comes next.
I write these things as I close this blog... this blog started as a remedy for my pain. A place to pour out my heart and soul as I was crucified by my truest love, but in my rebirth, I have no more need of a place to bury pain, because I have no more pain.
I am still writing, blogging, teaching, and sharing my life, just in a different forum, something started in the new energy of a twin flame entirely, steadily burning brightness into the dark.
You can find my writings through www.thelifeiwrite.org or through Facebook.
My blessed kindred twins, my love and my heart is always with you and I pray you find what I have...
Peace at last
What an extraordinarily beautiful thing.
Two existences have merged in a single temple. ~ Rumi
2 comments:
I hope you are ok...even though I know you and I am not, since I do have dreams like these too, and indeed it hurts a lot all the time, so I cried when I read this post of yours. You can definitely try a Reiki Healing session to cleanse out any emotional stress and etc, that was what I did, it didn't help to ease the pain, but the cleansing was needed, as it seems I built up too much stress in me.
Many hugs for you and everyone experiencing this, hope everyone of us can hang in there an just surrender to the Absolute out there :)
Absolutely Caroline. We are all here with purpose, the dark holds purpose as much as the joy and the light. We must be brave to navigate our lives without compromise to ourselves or that which we know as god.
And yes, Reiki helps! <3 Much love to you.
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